In 2011 I was living in Milan and had just graduated from my Bachelor Degree in Management. I was so proud of my academic achievement and excited to finally be free. I had been a good and dedicated student and completed all that was expected of me. I lived by the rules and fulfilled my duties. I dreamed of travelling abroad, fantasized about working a little café job in a fancy city like Paris, talking to inspiring creatives and learning how to live.
What happened was very different.
I did go to live in Paris as I dreamed. But I was quickly swallowed up by an internship experience in a multinational company in marketing. I thought that to happy, liked and accepted I had to follow the conventional path to success. I started to feel like the life and passion was being squeezed out of me and I was suffocating in the tiny little box that was supposed to bring me freedom and joy. My fantasies of making espressos in cute summer dresses feeling carefree and bright and dreams of new and spontaneous experiences were flattened.
I went back to studying, completed my Masters and dedicated myself to filling my life with new adventures and creative international people, travelling and living around France and in Asia.
Still, I felt I was not living my purpose.
I craved more simplicity: a spontaneous and graceful way of living.
One that included having both : wings for adventures and roots to ground.
In 2014 I started to cry, a lot.
I was living in Singapore and my family came from Europe to visit. I could not but should have felt astonished by the wonder of it all. My usual state of wonder was gone. I wanted to sit down on a bench and stay there forever, doing absolutely nothing. I wanted to break down and cry.
I started getting anxiety: on flights, on buses, on trains. My body craved stillness, to have my feet on the ground, time to uncover my desires, to use my imagination and just create.