A personal update on Following my Intuition
Photo credit to www.aistesaulyte.co.uk
Where to start…..
A couple of days ago I took a train to the South of France and my energy immediately shifted to feeling alive and excited and inspired again after feeling flat for so long.
I’m writing you from a cute cosy Airbnb, the sun peaking through the window of my tiny balcony, a blanket around my legs and a hot herbal tea in front of my laptop.
What may seem to be a rushed choice led by an emotional response was actually a desire I’ve been cultivating for more than a year, well before the pandemic started. An inner nudge that was gently telling me, it’s a good time for a change and to relocate yourself.
The place I was intuitively called to go was the UK, that I’ve always felt like my soul home when I was little and visiting with my mum. So I had set the intention of trying moving to Brighton for a few months to see If I would like it, to simply follow that inner whisper.
But then the pandemic hit and my 3 attempts of going there (including having just booked accommodation and transport) fell off every.single.time.
So I put the plan aside because it just didn’t seem the right moment and I focused on being happy where I was, doubling down on my gratitude practice and really being present in the moment which felt great….for a while.
I was still dreaming of places and the feeling of “being out in the world” deep inside of me, even just for a brief getaway and not yet a real move.
That desire to be out in the world was still there underneath the surface and I realized that what was stopping me were fears. What people would think If I moved around during a pandemic where people are being seriously affected, how crazy worried would my family be, what about my friends that don’t have this opportunity, now I feel guilty about this……
And exactly because my choice was coming from a place of fear it didn’t feel good, it didn’t feel right.
An anger inside of me against my own self started to rise to the surface because I felt trapped in my own fear-based choice and I knew it. I just knew I was staying in my comfort zone.
And truth to be told, I was waiting for external validation to do it.
I was waiting for someone to tell me : “I get you, I understand your desire, so go and do it”.
And being in waiting energy means giving your personal power away to others and that’s what was creating my inner frustration, the feeling of being powerless and waiting for someone to give that power back to me.
Of course like in all the situations in my life in which I waited for someone’s permission, it didn’t arrive so it finally clicked that I had to take the situation back into my own hands.
And so I made it happen and gave myself permission to book the getaway I needed (fear still there and some overwhelm) and the moment I was on the train I felt peace.
The loneliness I had been feeling a lot lately disappeared because I wasn’t feeling lonely because I lacked people in my life I loved (I have them now more than ever) but because I was disconnected from my soul.
She was asking me to listen and trust her and I was delegating to the outside world to respond to that need.
So here is the update that just poured out of my heart. It’s funny how I had written in my March Script (one of my favourite practices you can learn about here) how “this month is all about expansion, rebirth and flirty spring energy” because it’s what this step is making me feel. Like by taking this apparently small step I expanded to a new level of reality for myself.
I hope that this personal story gave you the permission you are maybe waiting for to follow your intuition in some aspect of your life where you’re feeling stuck by fear and limited by external circumstances.
Creating your intuitive unique process is one of the building blocks of my career coaching framework that I use with my clients to help them design their own version of reality and work guided by their own truth.
