You cannot serve from an empty (financial) cup

Photo credit to www.aistesaulyte.co.uk

I always thought I had a good relationship with money compared to other people.

I often didn't resonate with a lot of the money limiting beliefs some people struggle with because I was very fortunate to have infused a positive outlook on money from my dad especially and I honestly had a comfortable upbringing where I didn't miss anything I needed and more and I'm hugely grateful for it.

I've also always been someone that really doesn't need much to be happy in terms of material things.

Maybe exactly because I could go to 4* hotels as a child I quickly realised that wasn't something that would make me happy and I didn't look at these material accomplishments growing up as symbols of something I desired.

I always craved more emotional support than the financial one.

I wanted the "you're perfect exactly as you are and your dreams matter" more than a new toy.

So growing as a teenager and then adult I spent lots of time cultivating my inner self, getting to know my emotional needs, learning to communicate them and validating my desires for a life that looked different than the one advertised by luxury.

That sounds good right? Especially online I could read much more about how a better financial life was something that so many people purposefully desired ( being very right about it) and many didn't experience in their childhood.

Well yes and no.

One of my deepest money beliefs that I uncovered recently and determined lots of my choices has been "Someone else needs it more than me". Because I could in some way have a safety net in my family if I needed to.

And also " I need to work hard to make money because I'm already so lucky."

This expressed itself in me choosing to struggle if someone else could get the money instead.

Some examples?

- Undercharging for my services I perceived that this person couldn't afford it and I still really wanted to help

- Donating to causes when I wasn't exactly safe myself because these people needed it more

- Being ok if someone said no to work with me because "coaching is too expensive" and me feeling good that they would probably use that money for more important needs

- Being ok being broke If I was deciding to work less and prioritise health and wellbeing because it would be wrong to get both !

And probably lots of other examples I can still hardly dissect from my behaviour.

This also affected my beliefs on what's right to spend money on ( charities, things that make the world a better place, necessities) and makes less sense for me ( handbags, yachts, luxury hotels, cars).

And it affected the topic I chose to specialise on which is helping heart centred women creating a career they truly love that has also a positive effect on the world.

Let me be clear, I still stand behind this mission so strongly but I also understand the other side of the coin so much better since I started to coach more on business and marketing.

A couple of months ago I decided to have a session with a mentor I respect and while talking about my relationship with money and my new niche of being a "business coach" and not just guiding people to their purpose and a career they love I told her that I felt a bit "superficial" now talking about marketing and money.

How to guide people to sell their services, use social media, charge for what they do.

Compared to talking mainly about their bigger purpose and impact that changes lives.

And she asked me a great question : "Do you think money changes people's lives?"

And my answer was deeply "Yes they do" and an aha moment came from this.

Money changes people's lives in deeply incredible ways. Money creating their business impacts how they can support their kids, their parents, the causes they care about and their lifestyle, their comfort and living the beautiful life they deserve.

I was never driven by making money because I didn't. So I could focus on higher levels of hierarchy of needs ( like Maslow pyramid would represent) like fulfilment and notice its importance on other people's lives.

I was privileged to have my lower needs covered, feeling safe, sheltered and more.

That's not the case for most people and money does change their lives.

So where am I going with this discussion?

When I made coaching my full-time job I was quite naive and young and it was the first time I experienced the real struggles of not having enough money to take care of myself and let alone have an impact.

I felt heartbroken that I couldn't donate to almost any cause during Covid.

I did go into debt a few times during the years and while I always had an unwavering trust of being supported by the Universe ( thanks to my positive sense of financial safety developed since childhood) I also realised I couldn't plan much for the future, for my pension or supporting future children and desires.

I couldn't have the impact I always wanted because I'm just one person and the impact coming from my emotional support as an individual is limited.

A huge click point came from the famous self-care sentence "You can only serve from a filled cup" and connecting it to finances too.

Often we hear it related to rest, pampering, boundaries, putting the mask on yourself first on the plane and other similar things.

Now I see it also as "You can only serve from a filled financial cup, better if an overflowing one"

IMPACT and MONEY have to come together.

PURPOSE and BUSINESS have to come together at the same time because you need to know how to market and sell your offers beautifully to have the impact you want.

Taking care of yourself has to look like both!

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